Sunrise Family Split: Joe forbidden to play with Kevin

The Sunrise family is in mourning today after two of its favourite sons announced their decision to call an end to their regular Friday morning superciliousness contest.

Channel 7 spokesperson Andrew Douglas has told The Daily Worry that recent advertisements boasting that 'whatever office they hold' the pair would continue to make time for Mel and Koschie, are expected to be modified to include a brief disclaimer.

It is understood that Joe Hockey is in trouble with his colleagues, and possibly his mum and dad, for being friends with 'that no-good Kevin boy'. Hockey publicly defended the Opposition Leader's mismanagement of the recent 'Sun Lies' debacle, in which Rudd was complicit in the Seven Network's plan to exploit untested and potentially dangerous theories of quantum physics to move dawn forward up to two hours in Southeast Asia to accommodate the higher ratings period during their proposed ANZAC Vietnam memorial service.

Asked by Laurie Oakes on Nine's Sunday program whether he would like to take the opportunity to make the other kids like him again by saying mean things about Kevin Rudd and the Seven Network, Hockey was quick to declare "I am part of the Sunrise family and each Friday morning we speak to nearly half a million Australians and that's very important and it is a very important way of communicating with people. But I think this has taken on a new level and there are a whole lot of questions that need to be answered by Mr Rudd."

Whilst that answer seems to have saved Hockey from six of the best from Old Man Howard, who was unable to effectively attack Rudd following his minister's gushing declaration of man-love, it was not enough for Oakes, who wanted Hockey to publicly disavow his Sunrise family on air. Hockey's refusal to do so angered Oakes, who at one point looked like he might eat Hockey, or at least have him cryogenically frozen for later.

Kevin Rudd's office has issued a statement saying that the Sunrise family had split due to 'creative differences'. The statement went on to explain that Kevin and Joe were heading 'in different directions' with Kevin pursuing a solo career as Prime Minister and Joe a rewarding position as a Shadow Minister for who-gives-a-shit.