The NRA Plan for World Peace

The man who sold Cho Seung-hui a gun which was later used to massacre thirty-two students at Virginia Tech has told reporters that he wished that students were allowed to carry firearms to class as this would have made the campus safer.

Virginia appears to have some of the most wonderfully freedom-loving gun laws in the world - anyone over 18 can purchase an assault weapon, children can be given guns from age 12 without parental consent, owners are free to carry loaded, concealed handguns in public, no license is required, no child safety-locking device is required to be sold with a gun, there is no 'cooling off' period after a firearm purchase, there is no requirement to register firearms, and strangely, guns sold at gun-shows are sold without background checks.

The lone gun-control law on the books in Virginia seems to be that students may not take firearms to class. Now John Markell, owner of the gun shop where Cho Seung-hui purchased one of the guns used to commit wholesale murder, is blaming that law for the massacre. Because schools would be a lot safer if everybody was carrying guns. Then people wouldn't get shot. Yes, that's the idea, and if you follow the logic it all makes perfect sense. We all need guns to protect ourselves from people with guns. You can't take all the guns away because people have a right to protect themselves from people with guns. And people who sell guns to murderers have no blood on their hands, its all the fault of that damn pesky legislature for stopping the victims from carrying guns. In fact, if every student were required to wear kevlar body armour to class, and store an AK-47 in their locker, none of this would have happened because everyone would just calmly talk over their differences before reaching a mutually agreeable compromise.

So the bottom line is, guns don't kill people, gun-control laws kill people. I've never really felt safe walking down the street at night in Sydney knowing that I don't have a gun to protect myself from all the people around me who don't have guns. So instead of going to all the effort of preventing Iran from building nuclear weapons, why don't we just give nuclear weapons to every nation on earth? Brilliant!