Garrett Endorses Pulp Mill

Opposition Environment spokesperson Peter Garrett has come under fire from conservation groups and the Australian Greens for his decision to support the approval by Environment Minister Malcolm Turnbull of a controversial pulp mill in Tasmania's pristine Tamar Valley.

"Yes, I was head of the Australian Conservation Foundation at one stage, but as we get older our opinions mature. I was just a hot-headed forty-something back then, but now I realise that sometimes conservation applies equally to your electoral standing."

Greens leader Bob Brown has accused Garrett of "selling out" on his principles, declaring that they could no longer be friends. Mr Garrett replied that Bob Brown was just jealous because he won't get to be environment minister, and also that he is gay. Mr Brown replied that Garrett has no hair. To which Mr Garrett replied that Brown wears stupid ugly cardigans.