An Interview with Kevin Rudd

Kevin Rudd (KR): Kevin Rudd, thanks for joining us tonight.

KR: Always a pleasure Kevin.

KR: I'll start with the first rhetorical question that you wish someone would ask you, does this budget fulfil the 'future test'?

KR: No it doesn't.

KR: Is that because it fails to address the need for an 'education revolution'?

KR: Absolutely. This budget does nothing to address the need for vast improvements in primary education or training, and goes only a small way to undoing eleven years of damage to universities under the Howard government. I mean, you've got to remember that John Howard is the same bloke who hates students.

KR: Does this budget do anything about our dire need for improved broadband infrastructure?

KR: Certainly not. Not one cent of this budget has addressed our life-threatening lack of fast broadband. Without investment in this area Australia risks being left in the dark ages, and by dark ages I mean 1024kbps ADSL, and by 1024kbps ADSL I mean death by lethal injection.

KR: And does this budget also fail the future test because it places inflationary pressure on the economy, thus increasing the likelihood of interest rate rises?

KR: Yes. All this election pork-barrelling will throw vast amounts of money into the economy, its just tricky politicking and economically irresponsible bribery. I must say, you're really asking the tough questions tonight Kevin.

KR: Does Labor support the tax cuts contained in this budget?

KR: Yes, its about time working families got a tax break, for the fifth year in a row. We wholeheartedly support these tax cuts.

KR: Some might say that tax cuts will only further inflationary pressure on the economy. Is that true?

KR: Well look, Mr Howard knows he's playing political games with the future of working families, but if I could just take the opportunity to use wild hand gestures to answer this question, our nation is being *thrust* into a world economy demanding *ingenuity* and *innovation*. Labor won't just *stand* by whilst Mr Howard *robs* us of our rightful *prosperity*, because the mining *boom* won't last *forever*.

KR: And what about climate change?

KR: Obviously its too little, too late. Mr Howard is just being clever and cunning and lots of other focus-group approved buzzwords. There has been nothing in this government's last eleven budgets to address climate change, but there might maybe have been something in Labor's last eleven budget replies somewhere, perhaps, maybe. But now we've got this measley $150 million pledge. Its clear that Mr Howard has been asleep at the wheel and is just trying to buy his way out in an election year. *Education revolution*.

KR: Education revolution?

KR: Yes.

KR: And just quickly with our last rhetorical question since we're running out of time, is it moral for the government to spend $60 million of taxpayer's money on WorkChoices advertising?

KR: Of course not. In fact its the exact opposite of moral. Its *immoral*.

KR: Kevin Rudd, we're out of time.

KR: Thanks Kevin.