NSW Opposition Leader Peter Debnam today made headlines with his visionary plan to ban the banning of the Australian flag. In a grubby attempt to win some cheap political points from this adroit plan the NSW Greens immediately retorted with a communist plan to ban the banning of bans on flags. The Young Liberals then responded with an intelligent plan to ban the banning of tobacco advertising, but determined that marijuana should remain banned, and the Green Party should also be banned for their plan to ban the bans on it. Still, in amongst all this rotten politicking shone clear the forward-thinking logic of a great and unifying alternative leader.
"Im not prepared to stand back and let our national flag be banned... It's just not on. Next they'll say we can't sing the national anthem at the football."
Our glorious anthem puts the fear of God into the hearts of the opposition. We don't want to run the risk of not being able to sing our great and rousing anthem at the footy, so whoever 'they' are, Debnam's plan to ban them makes sense.
Debnam also promised to end the iniquity between thousand year old sites housing irreplaceable ancient Aboriginal art and spiritually significant artefacts and relics, and plaques outside of RSL clubs. "If you desecrate an Aboriginal site the fine is $11,000; if you desecrate a war memorial it's $2200... That's wrong and we're going to change it."
Debnam stresssed that "as someone who served in the navy and served under the flag" he felt that the time had come for NSW to lend a helping hand to the rest of the nation, and for us to join our fellow man in making a stand to protect the motherland. Debnam wants you as a new recruit.
Debnam's proposal for a national symbols bill includes the following:
- The flag should not be subjected to indignity or displayed below any other, because it is better than any other flag.
- It should not be allowed to fall or lie upon the ground, punishable by public flogging.
- It should not cover a statue, monument or plaque, or be used as a table or seat cover, but can be used as a cape, bandanna, dress, picnic rug or call to arms at music festivals.
- When the flag is raised or lowered, or carried in a parade or review, all present should face it, to make sure nobody steals it. Men should remove their hats and all should remain silent, because the flag hates hats and noise.
- Those who refuse to kiss the flag on request should have the shit kicked out of them by skinheads.
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